By Your friend from 988

When the phone rings, we don’t know who is on the other end.

We don’t know their name, what happened before they called or how long they stared at the numbers before finally pressing the buttons. We only know that, for some reason, they chose not to face that moment alone.

Sometimes the first thing we hear is silence.

Working as a 988 and crisis specialist with the 988 Florida Lifeline, you learn not to rush that silence. The caller may be gathering the courage to speak, trying not to cry or wondering whether hanging up would be easier. Some begin by apologizing. Others say, “I don’t know why I called,” or “This probably isn’t serious enough for 988.”

We aren’t measuring whether someone’s pain is “bad enough.” We’re listening for the person on the other end.

That means listening beyond the words, to the long pause before someone answers a question, the laugh used to cover hurt or the small change in their voice when they finally feel understood. It means staying present without judgment while someone shares something they may never have said aloud.

Not every caller is thinking about suicide. Some are grieving, like the caller who had several family members die in quick succession. Some are overwhelmed — by anxiety, relationship problems, financial stress or loneliness. Some are worried about someone they love, like the son who was worried about his mother. Others can’t name one specific problem; they just know carrying everything alone has become too heavy.

We can’t erase loss or fix an entire life during one conversation. What we can do is help make the next few minutes feel more manageable. We can slow the moment down, create a plan for safety or connect someone with additional support.

Sometimes we help identify one person to call or one reason to hold on. Sometimes we simply stay on the line with them.

Having worked as both a 988 and crisis specialist answering calls and a 988 team lead managing the team, I’ve also seen what callers don’t see after the call ends. Specialists pause to reflect on difficult conversations. They reach out to their fellow teammates and team leads for guidance and reassurance, wanting to be sure they offered the best support possible. They take a breath, steady themselves and answer the next call with the same care.

There are real people on both sides of the line.

So, if you’re afraid to call because you don’t know what to say — you don’t need to have the right words. You don’t have to wait until things become worse. You don’t even need to be sure that calling will help.

You only have to reach out.

Even if your first words are, “I don’t know where to start.”

However you contact 988, someone will answer 24/7/365. Dial or text 9-8-8 or chat online with us anytime, anywhere. In Northeast Florida, 988 is operated locally by United Way of Northeast Florida. We can connect you with local resources, if needed. For more information, visit unitedwaynefl.org/988lifeline.